We were meant to be together

And with the eloquent speech by the managing director of our college, the get together which was arranged for the alumni of engineering, 2011 batch came to an end. We were requested to enjoy the dinner.

Light music satiated the evening. I was attending the alumni party with one of my close friend and group mate Aarti. Looking around, I could had seen people still greeting and hugging each other and obviously clicking photographs which were to be uploaded on facebook for a week long discussion on the party and for storing as fond memories as well.

I was happy, content and very much enjoying the evening until someone put his hand on my shoulder. I discerned his touch in just some split seconds. Yes, it was none other but Atharv himself; my love, my life until a year back. Every time I looked back at my college life I had nothing else to think but Atharv. We weren’t just best going-around buddies, best friends but soul-mates as well. 

I turned around to look at him; anticipating no new face but his own. It had been a year since we saw each other. He was still the same- tall, lean and with the same hairstyle I liked.

Looking at him, I reminisced all the time I’ve ever spent with him, lived with him. Our long drives; making love at extraordinary exotic places including the farmlands which were situated at a distance of about 50 kms from the campus, his farmhouse; those silly, innocent yet nifty fights out of possessiveness... looking into his eyes, I could had still felt the same love reverting to me, nabbing me.

Breaking the silence he said “Hey Arushi! How have you been?”, his voice still the same, strong and meek. I could see that gleam in his eyes for having spotted me.

“I’m good. How about you?” I said; forcing a smile on my face as I remembered the time, a year back when I broke up with him. All these 12 months has been a tough time to live without him, without my life (as he was) who was all mine a year back, all throughout our graduation.

“I’m good too! And by the way, congratulations for your book launch.” he said.

“Thank you Atharv!” and with this, I knew if we were into a relation yet, we would had kissed each-other and celebrated our felicity.

“How is your preparation going on?” I continued to keep the conversation alive. He was preparing for the civil service examination since he was never interested to be a part of his family business.

“Everything’s going on fine!” he said with a little unease.

Understanding his malaise, I excused us from Aarti and asked Atharv if we could chat while we walk around the place? He agreed.

We walked silently; walked past all the whooping eyes which were glued at us. They all smiled in return to my gaze, wishing for us to be together, forever. And with this I re-called the day- 14 February, 2008; the day when I and Atharv participated in the “Find your Soul-Mate” competition, organized at a pub by all our batch-mates, and how after winning, that same evening Atharv proposed me. I was excited, nervous, happy, didn’t knew what to do, say, express but appreciated his feelings and being a best friend, without offending him, I gave in my consent and then we had gone for a long walk holding each-other’s hand.

I was brought back from my world of memories when Atharv held my hand in his again. We had reached near the parking by then. The guard who sat outside looked with inquisitive eyes at us. I took my hand away, though I wished we could have remained.

Atharv looked around and knew why I did so. He said “Shall we go out? I certainly hope you are not interested to stay here anymore.”

I looked at him with questioning eyes. He knew I was about to deny him; when he said “Come, I’ll show you my new office, just about 30 kms from this place. Won’t you come with me? I have lots of things to tell you all the way along...” and I was still quizzical thinking what to do, when he held my hand again and said “As a best friend, for the sake of relation we shared”, and I didn’t had words to say anything further. My tongue was tied so I gave my consent by shaking my head in agreement.

We walked out of the hotel garden where the party was still set at peak, since food is what everybody relishes till the last bite. This escape reminded me of how we had often scarpered the various dinners of our college annual fest/ functions after the anchoring sessions just to catch hold of each other, more closely, for a few more moments, to create a few more memories that would last with us forever.

I got inside his car which was parked just adjacent to the gate; with all the excitement rolling back to me, with every passing moment. When I sat inside, I glanced at his hands, which were busy searching for the keys and there they were, bunched in the same key chain I gifted him on the last day of the college, on our graduation day; as a token to remember me.

When I looked back at my life, I still think as to what went so wrong between us? I had been in a relation with Atharv for past 4 years until 2011; I had many other crushes while being with him but he was always strong enough to let me stay. Then what happened the last time? Things started changing when I met Sameer about 3 months before our graduation day. He was then a post graduate intern at the Stanford University and accidently happened to send me an inquiry relating to a workshop I organized in college. His hometown was Delhi too, which only added to the familiarity between us.

The first time I was talking to Sameer, we almost chatted for about 5 hours; breaking all the time barriers; I liked the way he talked, it was inviting, flirtatious and peculiar. Soon after, I started realizing that Atharv wasn’t giving me just enough time, since he was busy preparing for his civil examinations. I had though complained about this earlier to him, but then I knew that he was doing this for his good, for our good as well. But somehow, conversations between me and Sameer increased. With each passing day we started hooking up more to each other. I told Atharv about Sameer, but somewhere he knew that as all the past times, I’ll not be pretty serious so as to taking a decision of leaving him forever.

All this way along, after about a month I came in contact with Aarti, who was off for her internship at Microsoft, Bangaluru. It had been two months I was staying alone on my flat. I was glad she returned back. I missed her and all our girly gossips. As soon as she returned, we started telling each other about what happened over the past two months. On the reference of Sameer, she got a little sceptical and further took the responsibility to explicate me what I had been ignoring for about past 3 years while being with Atharv. Yes, Atharv was everything to me, until that night when I forced myself to take a rigid decision against him. Both Atharv and I belonged to different caste and well I had a very religious family and going against them was what I was not ready for. It isn’t that I and Atharv had never discussed on this issue but somehow all of it seemed lame that night, all the reasons that I and Atharv had planned seemed feeble. I began ignoring Atharv from that day onwards. To keep myself busy and to keep him off my mind; I began talking to Sameer more than often. Finally, on the last day of our college, I broke out on Atharv demanding a break up. He had been expecting all this too lately, but I know that he always thought, he’ll handle me well... as always.

Still effete to take it all, he asked if Sameer proposed me. How on Earth could Atharv have thought about my, indulging myself into yet another relation and this being the reason to leave him? I explained everything to him very clearly, he insisted me to stay saying that together we’ll work out everything, but I wasn’t ready to go along this way anymore. For the following month, I started avoiding his calls, texts and saw him only twice. All he always explained me was- that if ever I change my mind, he would always be there and with tears in my eyes I always gave one answer, “I would never come back to you now!”.

Meanwhile, I told Sameer about Atharv, and well he had no issues. We used to discuss almost everything and I liked the way I was not bound to him; though it was 4 months we had been talking to each other and not yet even defined our friendship, but talking to him was fun. When he came down to Delhi for his vacations, we would meet almost every second day. It was a little strange but we liked it that way.

Once Atharv spotted me and Sameer together at the Central Mall and called me to take out his frustration. There was no use explaining anything to him but still I took the pain to make him understand that we were just going around and nothing else. Atharv broke down and said that he still longs for me. The problem between us was that we were still loyal to each other, we were truthful to each other and nobody ever committed such a mistake so as to hate him/ her for a lifetime. Moreover, Atharv always accepted me with all my mistakes I ever did. I knew deep within that I would never be able to find another one just like him. I knew deep inside, wherever I go, whoever I meet, Atharv would always stay in my heart and he is the only one who loves me more than anything else in this world and more than anybody else. But, since that day, we did not contact each other.

The 20 minute ride to Atharv’s office seemed eternity. We didn’t spoke to each other. We just sat in silence with our hands together. Oh hell! What did I say... I didn’t even realised our hands were intermingled, lost in my thoughts about him; I almost paid no heed to this. His touch has always been the most comforting one. When I finally looked down upon our hands and then towards him, he gave me a shrewd look; Atharv was still the same! How many times I told him to fall in love with somebody else to forget me, but he would stay for me forever and that detested me ever more.

We reached his office, situated on the 4^th floor of the galaxy plaza. There were people still working there, they all stood up as he entered. I was not able to understand as to what was happening, I only followed him in silence until towards the end of the corridor we reached a door with the nameplate ‘Atharv Agrawal’ printed in embossed gold on a silver metal plate.

He opened the door and stood behind it, with the door held open for me to enter. I entered. The cabin which bearded the nameplate of Atharv Agrawal as the ‘Country Head’ surprised me. I looked around that four walled cabin which was beautifully contrived. That meant, Atharv had finally decided to go ahead in his family business and the best part was, he has made it happen; he has marked his father’s empire oversees.

With quite admiration, while I was busy looking at all the certificates, photographs on the wall next to his desk, I didn’t realize that he was still gazing at me. When I turned to look at him, I was taken aback. He was standing just behind me, close enough to feel our breathes. He took both my hands in his, when suddenly he realized something strange. He looked inquiringly towards my hands...

“When did it happen Arushi?”, he said with disdain. Yes! I was engaged.

“Last month”, I replied. He took a step back, not defying asking the next question. But, regaining his courage, he continued “Who is it?” and I knew, I was going to kill him with the answer then and there. I wished I could have eluded this part somehow, but no, there was no option.

And I replied “Sameer!” and he almost lost his senses. He sat on the chair kept adjacent to the wall, near his desk, one of his hands on the table. I looked at him, at his hand which was into mine a few moments ago... and I couldn’t have believed it, on the table was a photo frame with my photograph. He still loved me; he still wanted me in his life.

“But you said you and Sameer were just going around? You cheated on me, didn’t you?” he said out of wrath.

“No Atharv, I didn’t! It just happened and I couldn’t have helped it... He loves me a lot too” and I broke his heart again. Tears started rolling down our cheeks, for in some sense we both were hurt. I couldn’t have seen my best friend cry and I repented for having selected Sameer as my life partner. After I got published, I had that right to stand before my parents and demand for my wishes, for my life, the way I wanted to. Though I loved Atharv more than anything but Sameer was then my present and getting hold of Atharv after a year seemed foolish. In all, now, it was too late to get back to him.

I continued “Atharv, I am sorry. I never knew you still expected me. For the past one year, I thought you were....”

“Busy??? Busy for you? Damn Arushi... I was busy setting this all up for you, for us to be together. How could you do this?”, and I had no answer.

He stood up and started moving towards me. He knew there was still a side inside me which wanted him to be mine, which loved him. He moved closer and I took a few steps back until I was leaning the wall and until he was close enough to feel my hot breathes on his face, close enough to brush past his lips on mine. He asked me “Do you still love me?”

I knew Atharv was ready to forgive me, and with the love screaming out loud all the evening since I saw him, I couldn’t had helped but say “Yes. I do.” And with this, he started kissing me.

“But, I and Sameer....”

“We’ll work it our Arushi. I want you to be mine, which is all I know. I can’t share you with anybody, anymore” and with this, I kissed him back.

I finally knew that my life was all mine again and that his love has always been strong enough to stay.